I knew there would not be a month to go. In fact, it’s been several years in a row that every month someone wants to tell me about how the grass is greener on the other side. Only 4 days to spare in the month, and today the streak is still alive.

What I find interesting is that I usually hear it from someone who is in a new relationship. {I define a new relationship of 2 years or less.} While it is true that I do get a fair share of long-term partners, it seems that new partners get restless sooner rather than later.

So is the grass greener on the other side? Honestly, in most cases yes. But that will change quickly if you don’t take the time to water your lawn where you are. New or old relationship, the weed will fade if you don’t take proper care of it. So for me, it really has nothing to do with weed. But it has everything to do with motivation. I see many couples valuing unimportant things. It is not that they really are unimportant, but it is about priorities.

I heard things like we didn’t have a vacation this year and that’s why we’re in a bad mood. Or he will never stop talking on the phone or spend time with me. Actually, it’s about distraction. While it is important to show respect to your partner and plan fun activities, too many couples when faced with the prospect of spending time together find that they have nothing in common and nothing to talk about. What happened to the days when you only wanted to be with the person you fell in love with? Why are we now avoiding true intimacy? Is it like grass and love has faded? Or is it that we never take the time to cultivate love in the first place?

Each couple has to find a rhythm that works for them. But it is difficult to find that rhythm when we do not invest properly in our partner. In today’s fast-paced society, we are inundated with non-stop distractions. Between social media, 24-hour news and non-stop texting, it’s hard for some to focus on the person in front of them. Do you want to know which couples will make it and which will not? Here are a couple of indicators where a relationship is likely to be successful.

1. They are all inside. They run their business internally and support each other.

2. They talk to each other and not to each other. {If you have difficulty understanding this principle, read about effective communication}.

3. They are willing to commit, but not to their core values.

4. They act as a team when making the “big” decisions.

5. They laugh. And they laugh often.

6. They understand that there will be bad days. And just like making those “big” decisions, they come together knowing it affects both of them.

7. They make time for each other. With all those distractions, they are not distracted from each other.

8. They make time to get away from each other. They understand that sometimes a little distraction is not only good, it can also be healthy.

9. They make their relationship more than they do. They find a way to connect with something bigger than themselves. {Community, volunteering, religion, etc …}.

10. Because they are in love, they are not jealous. {See principle number 1}.

Everyone loves a green lawn. But not everyone wants to garden. But this is the question. Lawns like relationships fade without proper care. Like you, you care about your home and almost everything you own. You’re going to have to put in a little effort to make it special.

I’ve known men who spend more time working on that old car in the garage than spending time with their partner. I even called them. To my surprise, I have heard, but fixing it increases its value. Woof! Imagine how you would increase the value of your relationship if you worked on it as much as possible. Do you understand my point?

Don’t let distraction cause you to faint. Because if you do, eventually all the gardens they stand on will fade away.