When a marriage is in crisis, it can be the breaking point of the relationship, or it can be a vehicle for moving forward as a stronger couple. Everyone makes mistakes within their marriage, but some mistakes are more monumental or life changing. Such is the case when a husband has an affair, lies about something critical, or hides things from his wife. Even if he didn’t mean to hurt her, the consequences can be devastating not only for the woman he married, but for the family as a whole. Overcoming this is a unique challenge in itself, if her wife is so hurt that she cannot forgive him, it is time to reassess the marriage and determine how to move things in a more positive direction.

Before you focus too much on the fact that your wife can’t forgive you, you may want to seriously consider the seriousness of what you did. Some women are naturally more forgiving, so they don’t have a problem getting over an occasional white lie from their spouse if they believe that, fundamentally, he is a good and honest partner. Other women are devastated by the slightest hint of dishonesty in their marriage. These are the women who will hold on to things indefinitely and will not allow the feeling of forgiveness to enter their hearts.

You have to look objectively at your marriage and decide if your wife is really struggling with her desire to forgive you or if she is using her anger and resentment as a vehicle to make you suffer for your actions. If you cheated on your wife and came clean about everything, broke up the other relationship, and have made your life an open book, you might understandably expect forgiveness at some point in the near future. However, if her wife still cannot get over the fact that she sought comfort with another woman, even though she has shown her remorse, her feelings may be related to the fact that she is unwilling to leave. things like that.

There should be little glimmers of hope visible in your demeanor from time to time. If she allows the wall of resentment to come crashing down sometimes and you two really enjoy each other’s company, there is definitely a chance for your marriage. Often, a wife forgets about her husband’s shortcomings when they are having fun, engaging in an interesting discussion, or just spending time alone. If this follows the patterns of her wife’s behavior, there’s hope for both of you. Although she can sometimes allow negativity to seep back into her mind and heart, she is still trying to move the relationship to a better place.

If your wife can’t look at you without her anger boiling over or tears flowing, it may be time to consider whether the pain she’s feeling is worth trying to save the marriage. Therapy can work wonders for a marriage that has been devastated by the actions of one partner. If you’re willing and committed to improving the relationship, talk openly with her about the idea of ​​the two of you seeking professional help to mediate her issues and overcome the difficult situation that has brought you to this place.

Only you can know for sure if your wife will have the emotional strength and desire to eventually forgive you. If you feel like it’s a constant uphill battle and you’re making little or no progress, really think about what’s best for both of you. The extreme emotional turmoil your wife may be in could be doing even more damage to your marriage than she realizes. Put her first and talk to her about what you both feel is best for her family’s future. By being on the same page, you can work together to understand what your mutual next step should be.