Too much on your plate?

When we want to lose weight, we look for an eating plan that makes sense to us. We learn principles, commit to strategies, eat according to plan, and lose weight. This should be the end of the story. But is not. For more than 99% of people, the story does not end there. What happens?

In short, LIFE happens. We get additional pressure from work. We have a fight with our spouse. Our eight-year-old son is going through a “stage.” Our mother-in-law is coming to visit. Any one of a million possible scenarios occurs that causes additional stress in our lives and makes us reach for a candy bar. Before we know it, we have regained those 5 kg that we lost and another 2 kg have been added.

This is the yoyo effect that emotional eating can have on our weight loss attempts. Everyone has stress in their life, problems to solve, and negative emotions to deal with, but not everyone eats in response to these common aspects of the human condition in the modern age. Emotional eating is a learned response, a learned way of dealing with unpleasant emotions. And as such, it can be unlearned.

First of all, what is emotional eating? The most useful definition is that it is when you eat to control your emotions and you do so in conflict with your true intentions. If your intention is to have fun at a party regardless of your weight or your health and you eat and drink to your heart’s content, it is not an emotional meal. But if you are overweight or have a health problem that you know is related to what you eat, and you want to lose weight and improve your health by eating healthy foods, but you eat foods that you know are not good for you because ‘You’re bored, that’s eating emotionally.

When people eat for emotional reasons, they often describe feelings of helplessness, both in relation to their diet and in relation to their lives. Although these feelings are completely wrong and false, people will believe them so much that they will think that they must eat to get rid of that feeling. There is a strong feeling of compulsion to eat certain foods because the feeling of helplessness is close to the source of the panic.

However, using food as a solution is temporary and illusory. It doesn’t help you deal with any of life’s problems. We actually use food to avoid dealing with life’s problems. We have hitched a shortcut to feel better through food in the same way that an alcoholic or drug addict tries to feel better through alcohol, drugs, or smoking.

The problem is that the population is subjected to increasing levels of stress in relation to the complexity of modern life and therefore we see increasing levels of obesity and food-related illnesses. This situation is not going to change anytime soon. So we have to find a way to break the habit of eating food to feel better and learn new ways to deal with life’s problems.

We need to develop an attitude that is:

  • Problem resolution

  • Realistic

  • Not too sensitive

  • Do not judge ourselves or others

And we need to learn to take a problem, divide it into its parts, and then find a successful solution. To do this, it can sometimes be helpful to talk to other people: friends, family, or even a professional. Talking can help us put our feelings and problems into words, organize our thoughts and (most importantly) reach some conclusions about the situation.

Take an example of a stressful situation where your boss is angry and yells at you. You could just go out and smother your feelings with a donut (or six), or you could process your problems on your own or with someone you trust by answering a series of questions like these:

  • What really happened?

  • Why did my boss yell?

  • Was it something I did?

  • Was he in a bad mood?

  • Is this something I need to solve with him?

  • Did he really yell or was he being overly sensitive?

  • Is there something else in my life that could cause me to misinterpret his behavior?

Tackling life’s problems in this way, rather than going straight to food, is likely to lead to real, long-lasting solutions. Whereas food will really stop your problem-solving conversations in the same way that alcohol does, as you forget about your problems with a temporary “high.” Unfortunately, instead of actually solving your problems, this way of behaving creates even more problems.

There will always be obstacles in the way of life. But if we can develop a sense that we are the agent of our own life, and that if something happens, we can take care of it, there will be no need to turn to food as a method of dealing with it. For those who don’t feel trained in this area, utilizing the services of a therapist or health coach can help us navigate our emotional eating issues rather than allowing our emotions to control our weight, health, and lives.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *