The biggest mistake we make as parents when raising teens is CONSISTENCY. Sometimes it seems like it’s easier to let it go “this time”, or they say it won’t happen again. Our children need rules and limits; they thrive on it. This is a task that seems easier said than done; take it one day at a time. Pick and choose your battles, and the ones you choose to challenge, make sure you’re willing to do the punishment. There have been some occasions in my experience where I would get very angry and blurt out without thinking, crazy punishment. Then later, when I was able to really reflect on the situation, I saw that clearly the punishment I released did not fit the crime. Then deciding what the punishment should really be, I would go to my teenager and explain what happened and that I thought the punishment was unfair. At that moment he would explain what it was going to be. I think this showed my children that I make mistakes too, but I also went with them and did well. Building confidence is very important, especially at your age. Our children want to feel that their side is important. Take the time to listen to what they have to say. It will help build a good parent-child relationship. Build your confidence. When we constantly follow a pattern, it will start to form and those long days with misbehaving teens will become few and far between. We as parents are not expected to do well all the time. It is also a learning process for us. And each child is clearly different. When you find a technique that works, stick with it!

There are so many wonderful resources out there these days. The National Parent Helpline is an amazing support system 1-855-427-2736 or nationalparenthelpline.org, Parenting.org is also a great free resource from Boys Town. Love our children USA, childhelpusa.org. There are so many great organizations that are exclusively dedicated to strengthening our families even in the most difficult of times. Just remember that you are not alone. Help is at your fingertips. It’s okay to ask for help. We teach our children that when they need it, they are supposed to call us. Well, it has to go both ways. Sometimes we just need someone to talk to. And finally, the best advice I can offer is something I say to my children. They didn’t give me the job of being his friend. They gave me the best job of all, which is being his father. And I will live each day to be better. Being your friend comes later in life. And that my love is without conditions!