As relationships progress, we get lazy in the bedroom department. At first, we barely made it to the bedroom before passion took hold of us. Nowadays it’s all “wait until this show is over” and “can I keep my socks on?”
When I say foreplay starts with your clothes on, I mean start the chase away from the bedroom. For example, your wife has gone to great lengths with her hair, you might say something like this: “I love your hair like that, it makes your neck look really kissable.” Or if your husband has new jeans on, say something like “God, your butt looks sexy in those jeans” while helping yourself to a handful. Foreplay starts in the brain, and by complimenting your loved one, their brain tells them that you’re still interested.
Text messages and little love notes also help build tension. Slip a note between her sandwiches telling her what you’re going to do to her when she gets home and you’ve certainly planted an erotic seed. Or text her and tell her what you want to do to her when she gets there.
The art of seduction
Imagine the scene in the bedroom… the television on, the laundry waiting to be put away, the children coming and going as they please, the bed unmade. Now you want us to be in the mood? Set the mood for us. Our imagination is worn out at the end of the day and it will take longer to get going. Just a few simple bedroom modifications and you’re halfway there. Turn off the TV and put on some music, turn off the ceiling light and invest in some lamps, tidy up a bit and put a lock on the door!
And starts…
Ladies, that gray underwear that used to be white has no place here. If you want your man to be in the mood, wear sexy lingerie under your normal clothes, boy, will he be surprised. Men, change those boxers! Baggy briefs do nothing to emphasize your package, boxer shorts are the only way to go. Let her see how happy you are to see her.
Now start fully clothed. He will be amazed at what a difference this makes. Taking your clothes off slowly while gently kissing the part that has been exposed is a great preparation for sex. It’s about anticipation. Men, you don’t have to go straight to the breasts or genitals, women generally love to have their necks and ears nibbled and kissed too. Ladies, pay attention to your man’s chest area, some men’s nipples are very sensitive.
Unfortunately, it takes women much longer than men to become aroused enough to have sex, so men need to keep this in mind. Although it’s rare for you to go, you may still have a ways to go before you’re on the brink of orgasm.
If your husband is biting your ear and it doesn’t help you, tell him, but not in so many words. Say something like “I love it when you kiss my neck…” and not “Didn’t I feed you enough for dinner?” Men are not mind readers, give them a little guidance and you will reap the rewards. During foreplay your goal is for both of you to be close to orgasm, this is the moment of penetration.
Another method to increase pleasure during foreplay is to use tantric massage. This is where the full nude body is catered for, culminating in a genital massage. It really increases the intensity of the orgasm.
And so to bed…
Increasing the amount of time you spend on foreplay doesn’t mean the actual sex act lasts longer, but it does mean you’ll have more fun and are more likely to want to repeat the experience in the very near future.