Few books have grabbed my attention from the first page like Michael O’Brien’s Fearing Nothing. Michael begins this book by sharing his personal story of how he had won bodybuilding contests and was attending another when he had his first panic attack that caused him to run out of the auditorium. wow! I thought. Do you mean that even bodybuilders have anxiety attacks and suffer from fear and depression? And that was just the beginning for Michael. He inexplicably found himself having to get out of a car and run three miles in his dress shoes, having to run out of a restaurant while he was having lunch with his sister, and then not being able to drive or even leave the house. Too often, people with anxiety and fear issues stay silent, trying to hide their issues from others, so I want to say, “Michael, thank you for sharing your story because it makes the rest of us aware. that we are not alone and gives us the courage to share ours”.
We all have stress in our lives, but sometimes the stress becomes almost unmanageable. While I’ve never had a panic attack, I sometimes thought I was on the verge of one, and I often have anxiety during the work day, so I was able to relate to a lot of what Michael said, and I found the tools he offered to be more than helpful.
After sharing his story, Michael divides the book into three sections. The first deals with stressors that lead to anxiety, fear, depression, and other phobias. He uses the word stressors as an acronym for each of the nine major stressors that cause anxiety and fear, including self-esteem and sensitivity issues. Some of these stressors seem obvious, but others are surprising, including the first: smart. I was surprised and pleased by this first stressor: I happen to have anxiety because I’m smart. As Michael points out, smart people analyze and therefore think about what can go wrong, which causes them stress. So the anxiety is a side effect of what is otherwise an asset that I have. Who would have thought? Miguel explains it this way:
“For every symptom you’ve had and experienced, you’ve been in a position to create your previous thoughts or create those ideas. Like it or not, you’re probably above average when it comes to IQ. You’re probably smarter than you”. Realize. You don’t have to be a doctor or a lawyer to be considered smart. There are many smart people in the world who work in large and small companies; smart people work as gardeners, teachers, and mechanics; they work in salons, canteens, anywhere and everywhere.
He goes on to explain that because people with anxiety are smart, they are basically sabotaging themselves: “Know that this is not happening to you. It is happening inside of you. No outside source is doing this to you. Nothing is attacking you. This has all been created by you, but it’s also refreshing to know that you can heal it.” Michael also describes how we can use our intelligence to tell ourselves new stories that don’t make us so weak.
The second section of the book is REST, also an acronym that looks at the methods or activities that people should use to overcome their anxiety and fear. The R stands for Relaxation. Michael offers many helpful techniques on how to relax his body, and recommends that he do these short, simple activities several times a day to teach his body how to relax and get used to being relaxed. The T stands for Tools. This is the longest chapter in the book because Michael has ten wonderful tools that you can use. Again, some may be obvious, like breathing, but there are others that are very surprising, like “The Deception.” You’ll have to read about it yourself because it’s hard to explain, but Michael shares his personal story of how he discovered this amazing tool, and it reminds me of other things I know, like the importance of letting go or surrendering to resolve a situation.
The final section is YOU, an acronym for how you are the solution to the problem. This section also includes practical advice on ways you can improve your situation. The book concludes with a concluding note and then appendices that include lists of comforting Bible verses on fear and anxiety as well as a series of affirmations you can use to help you feel better.
One last thing I really appreciated was Michael’s point of view on the futility of trying to determine the causes of anxiety and all the other related fears and symptoms. This book is not about psychoanalysis. Michael, in fact, is focused solely on overcoming the problem instead of trying to dig into the past. He claims that he tried for years to figure out the causes of his problems and ultimately came to the conclusion that:
“There is nothing to discover. A solution cannot be found for two reasons: 1) You have a wonderful and creative mind where millions of thoughts are created, and 2) Everyone in the world also has these same wild and crazy thoughts. Yes “That’s right; they just react differently to you, so they never pay much attention to those thoughts. They release the thoughts in an instant and move on. Just like you will in time.”
Perhaps most importantly, Michael advocates for the reader to do what he has done: stop hiding their situation from the world. Michael states:
“You’re hiding. It’s time to stop hiding. When an alcoholic accepts the fact that he is an alcoholic, one of the first steps to getting better is to admit that he is, in fact, an alcoholic.
“Well, you may not be an alcoholic, but you are someone who hides from society. So much so that by not admitting what you are dealing with, you bring additional suffering. You are contributing to the fear. The fear of someone The fear of Fear of someone thinking you’re weird. Fear of getting fired if your boss finds out. Fear of not being accepted. Fear of what people will think. Today is the day you put an end to it. Let the world see it. know.
“I promise you will find comfort in knowing that people will still love you. You will find comfort in knowing that people will care about you in a loving way. You will find that more people are experiencing the same situation than you ever thought possible.”
I have taken much of the advice in this book to heart, and while I haven’t tried all the tools yet, I think people will find a lot in this book that will help them: they can take what works for them and leave the rest. because no one solution works for everyone. That said, luckily there are many pieces to the solution in these pages, and I’m sure you’ll find something useful here that will make your life less scary, more normal, and hopefully even happier and more joy-filled.