Is your sex life like McDonald’s? Full, but full of empty calories? Satisfactory, but nothing special? Let’s face it, we all go to McDonald’s from time to time, but if you don’t eat anything but a simple hamburger every day, you probably need to make something more appetizing, like a Double McRib sometimes. If your sex life looks like a stale old cheeseburger too, maybe it’s time for you to take a look at what’s going on in your relationship sexually.

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

1. I enjoy sex with my partner on a regular basis; it is always a pleasure and it never feels like a duty you must fulfill.

2. Experimentation and play are key elements in my sexual expression.

3. My partner and I make time for sex and don’t let it take a back seat.

4. I am affectionate with my partner, knowing that loving contact increases the levels of oxytocin, the “bonding hormone,” and encourages sexual intercourse.

So looking at all these statements, what did you reply and how is your relationship measured? Let’s look at these ideas individually …

1. Enjoying sex with your partner on a regular basis is essential for healthy expression and satisfying relationships. What you have to define yourself is what the “regular base” looks like inside your relationship, not anyone else’s. Having sex because it is your “duty” does not help you or your partner foster intimate connections. And if you’re viewing sex as one more box that needs to be ticked on your “to do” list, you’re missing the point of intimate connection.

2. Experimentation and sexual play are like frosting a cake; It’s not entirely necessary, but it really adds some sweet and intense elements to an already delicious endeavor. If you haven’t experimented lately, find something new, like toys, lotions, or a game that is mutually acceptable, and give it a try. You will be amazed at how exciting things can be.

3. One of the complaints I hear the most from my clients is that having to schedule sex takes away the spontaneity and fun. Yes, having to schedule sex may seem rigid, but the reality is that most people have such busy lives; If it is not planned, it does not happen. While putting a little afternoon pleasure into your daily timer isn’t spontaneous, what you do with that time can be. So, don’t put sex on the back burner, because you won’t be doing it on a regular basis.

4. Oxytocin is known as the hormone that helps with feelings of closeness and satisfaction, and can be released through skin-to-skin touch. Being affectionate with your partner, touching and creating affectionate bonds will promote the feeling of desire and excitement.

So while McDonald’s is filling up, eating there regularly won’t give you a vibrant, healthy experience. Try branching out with a “happy meal” every now and then and see how your relationship thrives.