We are living in a different time. Who could have predicted that we would have a global pandemic that would unfortunately result in the loss of many lives, loss of jobs and a stay at home mandate? Also, having to wear a mask. But that is our new reality. As the world opens up, what will be the new normal? Many people are telecommuting and many companies are doing everything virtually. It makes you think about life before Corona. Before the Corona era, many people said that they did not have time to go out. They didn’t have time to do the things they wanted to do. Time was one of the problems. Now that we’ve stayed home, many people have the time they said they didn’t. While this is a difficult time for everyone, it can be used for self-reflection. I lost my aunt who was only 40 just before her birthday in February. She was more like my sister when we grew up together. She used to call me her protégé. Suffering a loss and being wronged at a time like this is pretty devastating and hard. However, I have asked my aunt for strength and have chosen to use the pain for a greater purpose and honor her by not giving up on my goals and dreams. So it’s a day-to-day process. Grief is a process.

As I thought about our new reality and my fellow Queens, I wondered how many of us are using this time to do some of the things we put on the back burner. Those things could be as simple as painting, drawing, gardening, adult coloring. I am aware that this is a difficult time for all of us. However, how are you going to get out of it? What is going to be different? I’ve heard some people say that it’s okay to do absolutely nothing. I agree with that to the extent that you should definitely have your time to yourself. You sure have to be compassionate with yourself at times like these. This is hard for everyone. However, I don’t agree with someone doing absolutely nothing every day during these times for the next year or possibly even two years as the world tries to move on. That’s not what I would tell my ladies. That inaction or inactivity is what can lead to unhealthy thoughts and/or depression. Also, nothing can change in your life by doing absolutely nothing. I’ve had days where I wasn’t as motivated and just chilled out on the couch. Yes, I am also human like you. But I also know that my dreams and goals need me. Faith without works is dead. So regardless of what’s going on, I’m going to have to recover.

Even before COVID-19, women always put their needs last on the list. Women have always done a lot for others before thinking of themselves. This is how society has conditioned women to be; Givers, keepers, keepers with the mindset that everyone comes before you. That last part is not true. Everyone does NOT come before you. No wonder so many women feel dissatisfied, unhappy, in the wrong relationships, settling down, etc. So now that we’ve been forced to stay home this has opened up a lot of ‘time’ for some of us, truth be told. We can choose to do the same thing and still get the same results or we can choose to do something different. What will your post Corona story be? I suggest you use this time to get back to you ladies. Prioritize your needs and wants during this time. Put yourself first. Take the first step. Your goals matter, your dreams matter, your happiness matters, YOU matter. This world would not be the same without women. Therefore, the world would not be the same without YOU. As you take the time to reflect on your life before Corona and where you want to be after Corona (which may be a year or two from now), here are a few things to think about:

Clarity. You know what you want? Hopefully you have or will take some of this downtime to reflect on your true desires. I even suggest you write it down. Only 5% of society have their goals written on paper and that 5% earn more than the other 95% combined. Are you happy in your life? If not, what is happiness like for you? What are your professional goals? Do you have the relationship you have imagined? Whatever you want, you deserve it. Not what someone else has told you you should want, but what YOU really want. It’s hard for God or your Higher Power (whatever you call that source) to help you if you’re unclear about what you want and are walking aimlessly through life. Think of a GPS system. You have to write an address to take you to your destination. You have to know where you want to go, so be clear about what you want.

Apologies. We all apologize. I have also made them. This is not about perfection. However, at some point, you just have to be honest and real with yourself. In the book 6 Months to 6 Figures by Peter Voogd, he states that “one of the most important ways to build your self-esteem is to do what you say you’re going to do. Every time you say you’re going to do something and don’t do it, your confidence goes down.” How bad do you want to change? I have heard people say they are busy. “I’m so busy.” Alright. Well, what are the tangible results of all that hustle and bustle? If you’re busy watching soap operas or playing video games all day when you say you want to start your business, for example, that’s not the same as being productive. Saying you’re busy sounds good, it might feel good to say it, but In factWhen you’re not really achieving anything and have nothing to show for it, ‘being busy’ is just an excuse. You can have excuses or you can have results.

Association Law. Who do you spend the most time with? Something a mentor told me years ago was that people like people who are like themselves. It’s like that saying ‘birds of the same feather fly together’. Bad girls hang out with other bad girls. Who you hang out with has an effect on you. If you have a victim mentality and don’t take responsibility for anything, then you’re not going to be aligned with someone who does, who has a victor mentality. Are the people around you pulling you up or down or making you stagnant? Just because they’re your high school friends doesn’t mean they’re right for you at this stage of your life. Think about whether or not your values ​​and goals align with each other. Sometimes you outdo your friends and that’s okay. You shouldn’t feel guilty. Some people don’t want you to move on. Misery loves company. In the words of Dan Peña… show me your friends and I’ll show you your future. It’s that easy.

Character. Who you are will follow you wherever you go. You are the common denominator. Unfortunately, society has made women think that they have to compete with other women. If it’s in you to always be jealous and envious of other women, that will show up wherever you go because it’s part of who you are. If it’s in you to be manipulative and mean, it will follow you wherever you go. You can’t hide who you really are, but for so long. You are who you choose to be. We are all beautiful, perfectly imperfect creations of God. However, we all have problems. We all have things we can improve too. I believe there is something bigger than us that knows the truth. And the truth of who you are. You know what they say… the truth will come out. Think about who you say you are and what your actions really reveal. Are they congruent? Character goes a long way.