There is a disease all around me in modern society that seems to be spreading like the Black Death did in Europe so long ago. It’s called depression, have you heard of it? Has it affected you? The more I look, the more I see it in so many people in my life, including myself. Depression sucks. It’s a real can, and I mean a real can. It is different from the feelings of unhappiness that all human beings have to deal with in their lives. It is being in a lonely prison where you are the only one who can see the walls; you are the jailer, the guard, and the prisoner all rolled into one. Sounds fun, huh? Well, we better be more aware of it because there are certain aspects of contemporary life that are causing more and more souls to lock themselves in, some believe that they have no hope of finding the key.

If you search for depression on the Internet through a Google search query, you will find many different ways and means to manage or treat the problem. There are eastern and western approaches, psychological and spiritual; today there are 15,400,000 links on the subject. It seems to be on everyone’s mind and yet we don’t give it the general social awareness that we have for other diseases. This is probably because there are so many stigmas surrounding the flaws of the human mind. Broken bones and cancer that we can understand or at least think we do; But we hit a soft spot when we encounter a problem with that infinitely complex and useful magical device we call the brain.

I recently attended a public talk by a world famous psychologist named Dorothy Rowe who was selling her new book, ‘Depression: How to Get Out of Your Prison.’ I’m not going to tell you that she has all the answers, but she liked the different approach she took to the disease. You are not against modern medication, but you feel that it may be only part of the solution. Of course, there are types of severe clinical depression that need certain chemicals to rebalance the brain to “normal” functioning, but for all depression, she feels the focus could be shifted from a management paradigm to one of prevention.

Dr. Rowe focuses on the claim that depression arises when the interpretive structure of the world around you has been affected by some deeply negative events (usually in youth). His theory suggests that if a certain event happens to a hundred people, they will probably all interpret the experience in an individual and different way; the perceived “reality” has been a construct resulting from one’s life experiences. For example: let’s say you get fired from your job. Almost everyone is going to feel general unhappiness and cry for the next period. However, many people have built positive and optimistic ways of looking at life and will move on and feel as if the layoff is another necessary step or a momentary setback on the path to their life goals and dreams. “Everything that doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.” it is a common sentiment of this type of personality.

However, a person who is prone to perceive the world around him as threatening and dangerous (perhaps their parents never gave them positive affirmations when they were children, or even looked down on them emotionally) may believe that the loss of this job is a relative “ destruction ”. ‘of your world, your security, your confidence. This is where the disease of depression can sink in its sharp teeth. This is a fairly mild analogy; in fact, some people have had a hellish childhood filled with abuse, neglect, and addiction. When this type of person has to deal with the loss of a loved one or the breakdown of a relationship, you can imagine that they would be much more likely to perceive the experience as deeply negative. Dr. Rowe believes that these built structures of perceiving what happens to you can be altered, thus giving rise to a new way of seeing reality. The main idea is based on the idea that we must learn to change the way we see ourselves.

If we can learn to accept ourselves with all our flaws and imperfections, and realize that if we try our best to be a loving and generous person every day, then we can see ourselves as worthy and that all is well. So if someone else treats us badly, ignores us or says that we are not good enough, we can know and acknowledge that it is the person who has the problem and that we do not necessarily need their affirmation or acceptance. Then we can wait for positive people to come into our lives, as the similar attracts the similar. Very soon we will discover that there is a group of people who will be by our side and will support us when things go wrong because we do the same for us and for them.

One of the most powerful insights I gained from this experience was the large number of people in the room for Dr. Rowe’s speech. Each and every one of them had been or had known someone close who had been depressed at some point in their life, thinking that they were completely alone in the world. When you see a large group of people together who have felt alone, could you see the true paradox of reality? If everyone who got depressed realized that it is a common occurrence and connects with others in similar cases, it could definitely be a step towards healing. Could the Internet play a leading role in this process?