Intercourse and cunnilingus involve different female anatomies. During intercourse a woman is supposed to respond in a way that is complementary to the male anatomy. She is supposed to have an orgasm through the stimulation of her vagina. Rather, during cunnilingus a woman is supposed to respond in a way that mirrors a man’s anatomy. In this situation the woman assumes the orgasm through the stimulation of the clitoris. No one, neither the women themselves nor her lovers, ever comment on this obvious contradiction.
The implication is that different women reach orgasm by completely different mechanisms by stimulating different anatomies. Alternatively, the suggestion is that the same woman reaches orgasm on different occasions by stimulating different anatomies. Both of these suggestions are absurd and not supported by male experience. It is not possible for women (just like men) to have two sexual organs. Sexual responses also may not vary between women. The mechanism by which orgasm is achieved should be the same for everyone, regardless of gender or orientation. Orgasm consists of massaging the flow of blood (resulting from mental arousal) within the phallus.
Alfred Kinsey noted from his research that foreplay techniques tend to be incompatible with a person achieving orgasm. Orgasm is achieved by applying constant stimulation (specifically this involves a rhythmic massage of the sexual organ). Men tend to stimulate various parts of the woman’s body so that both the stimulation and the anatomy keep changing. It is often implied that men are not sensitive or selfless enough to know how to stimulate a woman. Women not only don’t get stimulated with a lover, but they can’t explain to a lover how to stimulate them properly.
There are far more men talking about providing cunnilingus to women than there are women talking about enjoying it. Certainly, there is no widespread discontent among women that men are unwilling to provide them with cunnilingus. Why should cunnilingus be more difficult than fellatio? No one acknowledges that these details are rarely discussed by anyone.
Surgical removal of a girl’s clitoris (grossly misnamed female circumcision) ensures she’ll never discover masturbation. This practice is accepted by women, which indicates the rarity of female masturbation and therefore of female orgasm. Female circumcision is clear evidence that clitoral stimulation does not cause orgasm with a lover. Men would never eliminate a means for women to have an orgasm with them.
Some women claim to masturbate with a lover, using a vibrator, for example. It’s hard to imagine how this would work with most men. A man comes to a sexual opportunity already highly aroused. The idea that he waits for a woman to masturbate in front of him before he’s motivated to want to have sex just doesn’t add up. Perhaps women are implying that they masturbate after a man has had her orgasm. But then one has to wonder why they need a man to do this.
Few women comment on orgasm. Those who do give accounts taken directly from erotic fiction. They focus on asserting that orgasm is possible rather than providing evidence of sexual pleasure. These orgasm claims are mere bragging. Women list several possible body parts as the source of their orgasms, and typically cite porn as their means of arousal. They repeat simple mantras like ‘I love sex!’ or ‘Sex is wonderful!’ They do not appreciate that orgasm occurs as a result of what goes on in the mind.
The clitoris is a much less sensitive organ than the penis. A woman can use clitoral stimulation to enjoy orgasm, but only when she masturbates on her own. Given the choice, a woman finds the romantic setting far more emotionally rewarding than the erotic. To be sure, a woman enjoys a fraction of the physical and emotional sensations of a man’s orgasm. Women use masturbation as a means of falling asleep. The feeling of tiredness after orgasm helps with the relaxation needed to sleep. The effect is much stronger for men. This is the reason why men often fall asleep easily after having sex. While the women stay wide awake. This is one of the indications that sexual activity with a lover does not cause female arousal or orgasm.
A woman has no need to orgasm with a lover. But some women like to please a lover by saying they have an orgasm. It is this male need to please a woman that causes much of the confusion about the female orgasm. Certainly there is no sex drive at work because the female orgasm is obviously an optional extra that is not part of the social activity. The key reason a woman (even a lesbian) doesn’t orgasm (in any way) is that there are no natural erotic arousals that turn women on with a lover.
If any form of clitoral stimulation (oral or manual) caused a female orgasm with a lover, women would have no reason to accept intercourse with all its risks. Given women’s lack of arousal with a lover, their only proactive option is to provide stimulation and arousal to help with male orgasm. Women would be less willing to cooperate with intercourse if they could achieve orgasm by other means. Both the receptivity of men and the lack of receptivity of women contribute to reproduction.
The male, with his higher level of sexual response, is the one who is most interested in making oral contacts, and it is the wife who is most often offended. (Alfred Kinsey 1948)