Confidence comes from within you. Confidence is also what you show on the outside in spite of, or to hide, what you feel inside. You may have the tools and skills to do whatever you want in the world, but without trust nothing will get done.
Well, we all know that there are times when we can lose confidence, especially when faced with something new or daunting. Sometimes, despite our lack of confidence, we do and sometimes we don’t. This is a temporary lack of confidence that can be overcome with experience and learning.
What is really debilitating is when we feel like we lack the confidence to try anything. This is more than a temporary loss of confidence. This is a complete lack of confidence that can be related to low self-esteem and a negative self-image.
People who lack confidence will also often have a negative image of themselves or their abilities. They may also feel that they lack control or direction in their lives, in many cases they may feel that someone or something else is controlling or determining the path of their lives. They may also feel that any success they achieve goes unnoticed or is ‘claimed’ by someone else.
These other people or forces that control the person can be their parents, schools or institutions, the government, their boss or company, or God or a spiritual force such as ‘fate’.
Lack of trust can often be cyclical or cumulative. In other words, the lack of confidence brings with it a lack of fulfillment or recognition for those who suffer from it. This lack of achievement brings with it a greater or deeper lack of confidence. This deeper lack of confidence brings with it more lack of achievement…etc, etc. At its extreme, lack of confidence leads sufferers to withdraw and not try things because they feel that they will not achieve or gain recognition and therefore come to lack some motivation.
It is important to remember that few people lack confidence in all areas of their lives. Some may lack confidence in their work, others may lack confidence in their learning, relationships, or sports skills. Lack of confidence in one area only becomes a problem when that area becomes important or takes up a good proportion of time in the person’s life. Many people may not have confidence in, for example, their sports ability, but this is not a problem for them if playing sports is not an important activity in their lives.
What does become a problem is when a person lacks confidence in their own image or belief in themselves. This is more serious, and in such cases, the lack of confidence is likely to affect the person’s performance in many areas of her life and prevent her from leading a full and happy life.
I strongly believe that coaching can help overcome a person’s lack of confidence by combating low self-esteem, promoting a positive self-image and supporting a person to recognize and reward their own achievements.