I often hear from wives who are trying to save their marriages after a husband’s affair, but run into some problems along the way. I recently heard from a wife who was very sincere about doing everything in her power to make sure her marriage was on the mend. She was still shocked and furious and struggling, but she was trying with all her might to focus on moving on. So, she was definitely playing her part.

And her husband claimed that he was just as committed as she was, but when the two found themselves together trying to reconnect and rebuild, it was very noticeable that the husband was uncomfortable and uncomfortable. As such, these reconnection attempts did not go so well. The wife said, in part, “I think we’re both trying too hard, but it just doesn’t work. I can tell my husband is very uptight and uncomfortable. It’s just that the easy relationship we used to have is gone. He’s constantly shifting his weight and clearing his throat. He rarely makes eye contact with me or holds my gaze. His awkwardness is almost Worse to me than infidelity. Because we used to have such an easy and comfortable relationship full of laughter. And now it’s so awkward and forced. Why does he feel so uncomfortable when I try to make this as easy as possible for him? And is there anything I can do to make it so? get better faster? I will try to answer these questions in the following article.

It’s normal for a husband to feel uncomfortable after an affair, even when both people really want the marriage to work: The wife in this situation was really worried that her husband would feel so uncomfortable with her because his heart was no longer committed to the marriage. She worried that her husband was trying to “fake” her love and commitment to her and so she watched him move uncomfortably. She could understand why she felt this way, but her perception was not necessarily true.

Many times, a husband’s discomfort comes from guilt and things that remain unresolved. He sometimes knows how difficult a situation he has created for you and therefore it is very difficult for him to look you in the eye and see the pain he created. And even when you are reassuring him that you will survive and be able to recover, he may still have doubts about him because he knows that he has made a huge mistake that things may never be the same.

Does this mean that the comfort level will not return? No, it doesn’t have to mean this. It may mean that the process will take some time or that there are still issues that have not been addressed and still cause some problems or discomfort. Sometimes it’s best to try to have at least one short but frank conversation about this each day because when you can do this, the process becomes a little easier to navigate, if only because you get used to it.

If it’s been some time and you’re still noticing the discomfort, you may want to explore what could be causing it: Like I said, some discomfort is just part of this process. But if weeks and months have passed without any improvement, you may want to explore if there are still some major and unresolved issues that are causing problems. Sometimes the husband is very worried because there is still some information that you don’t know yet and he is nervous that this will come out. Other times, the husband’s behavior is a reflection of yours, even though he may not realize it. And in some cases, the husband still feels guilty and this weighs heavily on him.

The way to improve all of these things is to keep communicating, to keep trying to move forward, and to keep being honest about how you feel and what worries you most. The truth is that all the problems that an affair brings can be overcome eventually with honesty and work, but this often does not happen on its own. You have to be very proactive and you have to address things as they come up. Sometimes it can be very tempting to ignore some of the nastiest things and hope they go away. But in my experience and observation, this is often a mistake.

Ignoring discomfort will usually only make things worse. No one wants to bring it up, so avoiding it becomes one more thing to worry about, and the negative feelings only multiply. Of course, the wife in this situation wanted to feel that easy familiarity that had always defined her marriage. And she wanted this to happen immediately. Although it would probably be helpful to reach out and ask the husband if something specific was bothering him, getting back on track after an affair will often take some time.

Once the husband was able to see the wife’s recovery and was able to show her that he was trustworthy, committed, and repentant, his guilt level should begin to improve and the wife would likely begin to see her comfort level respond accordingly. I want to mention one more thing. The comfort of the husband is not really the responsibility of the wife. She can’t make him feel something that he doesn’t feel, and apart from offering him some guarantees and moving on, the rest is up to him.

With that being said, I felt that with continued progress and open communication, this was a situation that would continue to improve so that it would eventually not be the biggest issue facing the couple.